by xinli 29/7/10

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by isabel 10/7/10

A young man visited his sister who was married to a farmer in a poor district of the country. Since there were limited accommodations, he was required to sleep with his young nephew.
When the young man came into the bedroom, he saw the little boy kneeling at the side of the bed with his head bowed. Thinking this was the child's religious upbringing, he decided to present a good example and kneeled at the other side of the bed with his head bowed. The child looked up and said, "Whatcha doin'?"
"Why, the same thing you're doing", replied the uncle.
"Ma's gonna be mad", said the boy. "The pot's on this side".

by Yan Qing 01/07/10

The Sins Of Three Nuns

There are three nuns and a Mother Superior. The Mother Superior tells the three nuns that before they can receive their Saint name they had one final test. She told them to go commit one sin so that they would not have urges to be bad.
After the three nuns return, the Mother Superior says, "Did you commit your sins?" They all shake their heads yes. The first two nuns are crying, the third is giggling.
The Mother Superior says to the first one, "What sin did you commit child?"
The first nun answers with tears in her eyes. "I was just rotten, I picked flowers from someone's garden."
The Mother Superior says, "Go drink the Holy Water and it will be alright." The third nun is dancing around in laughter.
The Mother Superior asks the second one. Her whole body is shaking and she is crying. "I stole candy from a baby."
The Mother Superior says, "My child, drink the Holy Water and you are forgiven.
The third nun falls on the floor hysterically laughing. The Mother Superior is disgusted and asks, "What are you laughing at?"
The third nun is barely able to answer through her tears of laughter, " I peed in the Holy Water."

toilets signs posted by Isabel 1/7/10
Toilets round the world

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By Xin Li 01/07/10

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Soup, soup, makes you poop,
Down your leg, and in your boot,
It won't stop, until it flows,
Around your foot, and through your toes

Flush it fast
and it will last
Flush it slow
and it will go!!!

A man walks into a bar and sits down. The bartender asks the man what he wants. The man says, "Give me a Bud Lite."
When the bartender brings him the beer, he notices the guy pokes at his hand and starts talking. When he stops talking, the bartender asks, "What are you doing with your hand on your face?"
The guy says, "A while ago I was hit by lightning and from then on my hand became a cell phone."
The bartender says, "Oh! You're full of it!"
So the guy says, "If you don't believe me, then here! Tell me your phone number and I will dial it.
The bartender says, "Dial 654-8967."
The guy did so and hands the phone to the bartender who talks with his wife and kids.
After a few drinks, the guy goes into the bathroom. Two other guys come in and the bartender asks they if they saw the guy whose hand is a cell phone. The two guys say "Oh, you're full of it!" The bartender tells them if they don't believe him, then wait until he comes out of the bathroom and they can see for themselves.
After about 15 minutes the guy still hadn't come out of the bathroom so the bartender goes to check on him. When the bartender goes into the bathroom he sees the guy standing there pants down and toilet paper rolling out of his butt. The bartender asks, "What the hell are you doing?"
The guy says, "Hold on a second! I'm getting a fax!"

A drunk gets up from the bar and heads for the bathroom. A few minutes later, a loud, blood-curdling scream is heard coming from the bathroom.
A few minutes after that, another loud scream reverberates through the bar.
The bartender goes into the bathroom to investigate what the drunk is screaming about.
"What's all the screaming about in there? You're scaring my customers!"
"I'm just sitting here on the toilet and every time I try to flush, something comes up and squeezes the hell out of my balls."
With that, the bartender opens the door, looks in and says, "You idiot! You're sitting on the mop bucket!!!"

A young man at his first job as a waiter in a diner has a large trucker sit down at the counter and order, "Gimme 3 flat tires and a couple of headlights."
Bewildered he goes to the kitchen and tells the cook, "I think this guy's in the wrong store, look at what he ordered!"
The cook says, "He wants 3 pancakes & 2 eggs sunny-side up."
The waiter takes a bowl of BEANS to the trucker.
He looks at it and growls, "What's this? I didn't order this!"
The young man tells him, "The cook says that while you're waiting for your parts you might as well gas up!"

An 80-year-old man went for his annual checkup, and the doctor said, "Friend, for your age you're in the best shape I've seen."
The old feller replied, "Yep. It comes from clean living. I know I live a good, clean, spiritual life."
The doctor asked, "What makes you say that?"
The old man replied, "If I didn't live a good, clean life, the Lord wouldn't turn the bathroom light on for me every time I get up in the middle of the night."
The doc was concerned. "You mean when you get up in the night to go to the bathroom, the Lord himself turns on the light for you?"
"Yep," the old man said.
The doctor didn't say anything else, but when the old man's wife came in for her check up, he felt he had to let her know what her husband said.
"Your husband's in fine physical shape," the doctor said, "but I'm worried about his mental condition. He told me that every night when he gets up to go to the bathroom, the Lord turns the light on for him."
"Aha!!!" she exclaimed. "So HE'S the one who's been peeing in the refrigerator!"

toilet signs posted by isabel 30/6/10

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toilet sign in Turkey

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toilet sign in Iran

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toilet sign in Paris

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female toilet sign in Africa

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toilet sign from Korea.

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men toilet sign from Bangkok

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toilet sign from Japan

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female toilet sign from East Kilbride

by Yan Qing

28/6/2010 Posted by Hana Sakina Toilet Joke/Humor/Poem Joke

American Indian goes into the general store and says, "Me need toilet paper." The proprietor replies "I have SuperSoft at $6 for four rolls, or I have No-name at $4 for four rolls." The Indian decides "Me take No-name." Two weeks later, the Indian returns to the store. He says, "Me have name for No-name toilet paper." "What is it?" the owner asks. "John Wayne," says the Indian. "Why John Wayne?" the owner asks. "Because it rough, tough, and take no shit off Indian."


A man decides to take the opportunity while his wife is away to paint the toilet seat.After he finished,he headed to the kitchen to raid the refrigerator.The wife comes home sooner than expected, and heads to the bathroom,sits down and gets the toilet seat stuck to her rear.She becomes upset and in a panic she shouts to her husband to drive her to the doctor.

She puts on a large overcoat to cover the stuck seat,and off they go.When they get to the doctor's office,the man lifts his wife's coat to show their predicament.The man asked,"Doctor,have you ever seen anything like this before?"

"Well, yes." the doctor replied, "But never framed."


The love of my life, is not my dear wife,
But a toilet with flush, and extra thick pipes.
To take all my crap, without a mouth flap,
And when it acts up, I can shut off its tap.


What did the toilet say to the other toilet?

Answer:You looked a little flushed.